LABOR DAY SEPTEMBER 1ST 2008!! A BABY STEP IN FAITH!!

9PM- Wow, Happy Birthday indeed, 30 years ago I was born in the flesh, but tonight I was born in FAITH!!! Praise God!!! I drove to the hospital and wanted to stop and get a coffee to sustain this fast I am on, but I thought that since it’s my birthday, I should break in my 30th with the Lord, and I thought of the scripture, MATTHEW 9:37, Then he said to His disciples, the harvest truly is plentiful but the laborers are few. Since it’s labor day it stuck with me. Funny, I have always looked forward to 30, forever now, and I ‘m so thankful that it has finally arrived. See in my heart I knew things would be different; and so they are, and I really know this is the year I get a hold of God and He will use me in ministry, IF I choose to follow Him and obey.

My mind started to drift a little bit so I put on some worship music to help me focus at the task at hand. I still had to work up my nerve to go in; but it wasn’t as difficult as the previous times. Last time it took me two and a half hours! I sat in my truck praying and working up the nerve to go in, then drove away out of town, only to turn around and come back because I knew the Lord wanted me to go inside. Where I remained in the parking lot for another hour, fretting and wondering what the people will say. I remember it struck me as peculiar, when I thought of when I was seventeen and how I did an armed robbery, hiding behind a dumpster with my mask and gun, (it was a pellet gun, thank God I couldn’t find a real one on short notice) and it only took me under an hour to work up the nerve (when my “six” said it was clear) to run inside and stick a gun in someone’s face and demand the money. I could have actually killed or seriously injured someone, or have been shot myself. The worst part is if I had been apprehended I would have been arrested, charged, and incarcerated for 5-10 years, where I would serve most of my time in a violent crime unit with less than desirable cellmates. The worst part of it all, is it was ALL for $220.

Yet I find myself, armed this time with a weapon sharper than a two edged sword, standing outside a hospitable, knowing in my soul that JESUS wants me to lead someone to Him, to save their life this time, not to hurt them, to give and not take, and I can’t seem to work up the nerve because I’m afraid they’re going to say, a simple NO! I think; but what if they say it loudly, or God forbid, even swear and tell me to “get out!!!” OH MAN!! What am I going to do? Wow, I then realized I am even more messed up than I ever thought before, and I can’t blame this one on the three legged high chair I grew up on.

I drove around BROOKS a couple times and finally pulled in to the parking lot and said a prayer grabbed my Bible and walked into the hospital, feeling full of the Holy Ghost. I entered and walked into the chapel, where I pled the blood of Jesus and loosed a Spirit of peace and love. It’s funny how since the very first day when I walked into that chapel and felt an evil presence, but then took authority and cast it out in JESUS name, I haven’t felt it back since and it is peaceful in there. So since I was already there, I also put Truth Church cards in the book of Mormon, the Catholic Bible, and in the King James, which, I put it in Acts 2:38 to be precise.

Anyway, I was going to walk the normal ward, but I really felt compelled to go into the intensive care ward, It is restricted access but I obeyed and walked methodically, as I have been accustomed to doing, listening for the Holy Spirit to tell me who to talk to. I walked all the way down the hallway, but there was still no prompt from the Holy Spirit, so I walked all the way to the end, to the very last door, it was closed halfway, and so I couldn’t see who was inside. Because I couldn’t see what the person looked like, it really made me nervous, what would they say? Would they hit me, or scream for the nurses, and then I would be barred and never return? All these thoughts are running through my mind but it didn’t matter because God knew who it was; all I had to do was obey what He was willingly me to do. PROVERBS 3:5-6, TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE SHALL DIRECT YOUR PATHS.

I just knew to go inside but again because I couldn’t see who it was; I was nervous, such a chicken, I charged myself; how is God ever going to use you? So I sat out in the hallway, and waited, hummed and hawed and then turned around and tried to peak in, I just had to get a look before I went in. I saw bone thin, frail hands holding a large book. Again, I thought what if they tell me to get out and I’m not allowed in here again, or swear at me, or are just so rude and ignorant to me. I turned back around and stood there and waited, yet again, until I started to read this sign that said “CANCER the last rights” and it listed all the rights of a patient that was perishing from cancer. At that moment, it dawned up me that my personal pride will not dictate leading someone to JESUS. Here I am standing right here and knowing with everything that is within me that I must go in, and I would love to say, that at that precise moment I turned around and courageously walked into the room, but I sheepishly stood in the hallway until the Lord beckoned me a third time. With me the Lord will prompt me to do something three times, and if I don’t CHOOSE to obey; the opportunity and experience is lost, BUT He is so good and will bring the opportunity back to me again when I’m ready. PROVERBS 24:16, FOR A RIGHTEOUS MAN MAY FALL SEVEN TIMES AND RISE AGAIN, BUT THE WICKED SHALL FALL BY CALAMITY.

It still took me a minute but I turned around and slowly peaked my head inside, I seen a frail, withered woman, obviously terminally ill with a bald head reading a book. I took a breath and I said “excuse me”, she turned and I asked if I may come in, she had a bewildered look upon her face, but said “yes.” She was a very pretty, Spanish lady in her late thirties, and she had such a soft glow about her, her eyes were full of peace and she was very kind, and had a beautiful smile. I walked up to her bed and didn’t know what I was going to say and I was really nervous at first because I felt what the Lord wanted me to do, with all content of the scriptures I have been reading, THAT THESE SIGNS WILL FOLLOW THEM THAT BELIEVE or BE REMOVED AND CAST INTO THE SEA or GREATER WORKS THAN THESE THEY WILL DO. I really felt the Lord was urging me to take a step in faith, well more of a giant leap. But Bro. Merritt said that, if we believe the Lord will go before us!! So,I asked what she was reading, she said “I’m reading about JESUS” in a very beautiful but thick Spanish accent. I said bluntly “well, I was standing outside your door and the Lord told me to come in here and speak with you”. She said that I don’t think it was coincidence!” and I agreed with her. (She had actually prayed only minutes before I obeyed and walked through the door, if God would give her the strength to pick up that book. I didn’t know where to begin, and truthfully I was pretty intimidated, but I BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF GOD, and that HE IS A GOD OF PROMISE!! I started to talk to her about, MARK 16:15-18, JOHN 14:12-14, and MARK 11:23-24. I asked if she believed that the Lord could heal her, and she said “YES” I then started to talk about some other things, almost putting it off, but I was really working up my faith, I knew why God had sent me here and I wasn’t about to let doubt or pride get in my way. I would rather look like a fool for JESUS and have someone reject me, than to do nothing and let someone’s soul perish for eternity because of my pride. I spoke of “tongues” and about the power and the infilling of the Holy Ghost, I touched base on ACTS 2:38, I asked if she repented and she couldn’t really understand and I was lacking the confidence and experience to pray someone through to repentance.

I left it alone after having difficulty trying to explain it, and besides she is going to have time for that later. I asked her if I could pray with her, she said “yes” and she could see that I was a little nervous about what was about to happen, she was very encouraging and warm, and I just felt relaxed as she assured me it was okay, and beckoned for me to come to her. So I walked around her bed and laid my hand upon her head. (I felt to lay both hands but I put only one on) I didn’t know how exactly to pray, or for how long, but I just went with the Holy Ghost and I felt the power flowing through me, as I prayed I first worshipped God, and gave Him praise and then quoted the scriptures that gave the promises, and then, I cast out and bound the spirit of cancer, and the spirit of infirmity in JESUS NAME, and I loosed a Spirit of life and the gifts of healing. I didn’t know if I should shout out loud or start screaming but I prayed with authority. I prayed on her until I felt the Holy Ghost subside and I ended the prayer in JESUS name. It wasn’t a long prayer but I just followed what the Lord wanted me to do, and it’s not what I have done but the POWER and AUTHORITY of JESUS NAME!!!! I just had to believe, and my job was just to step out in faith and let God do the rest. That was the biggest part to get over but I realized just that, it isn’t me that fails if it didn’t work, for I just obeyed and hung my faith on Gods word and He never goes back on His word!!!

Immediately when I was finished I looked at her face half expecting to see this beautiful fair maiden, her face full with long flowing hair, blown by a gentle breeze and her face incandescent. But no, there was no physical transformation; she looked the same but with perfect peace, and love upon her. As I stood above this woman, I was filled with this adoration there was a special, deep, bond and as we looked at each other with love in our eyes, I felt the perfect love of the Lord, and it was so real and profound, and it makes me feel warm and peaceful even now as I think about her and the experience. It was so real, so pure and Holy, it was the love and compassion that can only come from JESUS, and I feel blessed to experience such unconditional love. 1 JOHN 4:7, BELOVED, LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FOR LOVE IS OF GOD, AND EVERYONE WHO LOVES IS BORN OF GOD AND KNOWS GOD. HE WHO DOES NOT LOVE DOES NOT LOVE GOD, FOR GOD IS LOVE!

The love that was displayed For one another, I couldn’t help but look at her with the utter most compassion from the very depths of my soul, and I know she could see Jesus in me. It was love straight from Him, and it was the most beautiful, surreal feeling of absolute bliss I have ever experienced, as I watched this frail woman a complete stranger only fifteen minutes earlier, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at me, as we stared into each other’s eyes, intently, as if we both had a secret that no one else around us knew, there is something we shared, a knowledge that we both have learned so much from each other. That God has used her to help me more than I could ever help her!! I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to enjoy this moment forever, it was so awesome! She asked if I could wash her hands for her, so I wet a napkin and then she asked if I could close the blinds and I did. We just kept smiling at one another, she told me to watch out for temptation, and that she was so full of peace and joy, that there is a young man that is so full of God and that He [does really] live in me. She gently spoke of her husband, and how he said that he loves God more than her, but she wasn’t jealous she admitted jokingly, and she loves him and her three daughters. She was so full of faith in the Lord, and all she knows was Catholicism, but I could see the peace of the Lord upon her and knew He was with her, I could see the Lord in her and I know she wants to know more and the Lord wants her to understand TRUTH. I couldn’t take my eyes off this lady, and it was so beautiful. Before I left, I bent over and gave her a kiss on the top of her bald head, and smiled a deep smile that came from the depths of my soul, and she returned it. I said I wanted her to sleep now, and as I left I couldn’t break my gaze from hers, and I walked out the door, floated down the hallways and back to my truck, and sat there in awe of what had just transpired. I danced before the Lord in the streets; I just couldn’t contain myself and was overwhelmed with the love of JESUS!!! I prayed and then spoke with my mom who wished me happy birthday, I gave her a report and she marveled at the wonders of God. I let her go as to not be distracted and just worshipped the Lord and gave thanks for healing Cinia and drove back to the rig and gave Him more praise and just spent an hour worshipping him, and thanking Him, and Praising Him!!


1 JOHN 4:12, NO ONE HAS SEEN GOD AT ANY TIME. IF WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER, GOD ABIDES IN US, AND HIS LOVE HAS BEEN PERFECTED IN US.