9PM- Wow, Happy Birthday indeed, 30 years ago I was born in the flesh, but tonight I was born in FAITH!!! Praise God!!! I drove to the hospital and wanted to stop and get a coffee to sustain this fast I am on, but I thought that since it’s my birthday, I should break in my 30th with the Lord, and I thought of the scripture, MATTHEW 9:37, Then he said to His disciples, the harvest truly is plentiful but the laborers are few. Since it’s labor day it stuck with me. Funny, I have always looked forward to 30, forever now, and I ‘m so thankful that it has finally arrived. See in my heart I knew things would be different; and so they are, and I really know this is the year I get a hold of God and He will use me in ministry, IF I choose to follow Him and obey.
My mind started to drift a little bit so I put on some worship music to help me focus at the task at hand. I still had to work up my nerve to go in; but it wasn’t as difficult as the previous times. Last time it took me two and a half hours! I sat in my truck praying and working up the nerve to go in, then drove away out of town, only to turn around and come back because I knew the Lord wanted me to go inside. Where I remained in the parking lot for another hour, fretting and wondering what the people will say. I remember it struck me as peculiar, when I thought of when I was seventeen and how I did an armed robbery, hiding behind a dumpster with my mask and gun, (it was a pellet gun, thank God I couldn’t find a real one on short notice) and it only took me under an hour to work up the nerve (when my “six” said it was clear) to run inside and stick a gun in someone’s face and demand the money. I could have actually killed or seriously injured someone, or have been shot myself. The worst part is if I had been apprehended I would have been arrested, charged, and incarcerated for 5-10 years, where I would serve most of my time in a violent crime unit with less than desirable cellmates. The worst part of it all, is it was ALL for $220.
Yet I find myself, armed this time with a weapon sharper than a two edged sword, standing outside a hospitable, knowing in my soul that JESUS wants me to lead someone to Him, to save their life this time, not to hurt them, to give and not take, and I can’t seem to work up the nerve because I’m afraid they’re going to say, a simple NO! I think; but what if they say it loudly, or God forbid, even swear and tell me to “get out!!!” OH MAN!! What am I going to do? Wow, I then realized I am even more messed up than I ever thought before, and I can’t blame this one on the three legged high chair I grew up on.
I drove around BROOKS a couple times and finally pulled in to the parking lot and said a prayer grabbed my Bible and walked into the hospital, feeling full of the Holy Ghost. I entered and walked into the chapel, where I pled the blood of Jesus and loosed a Spirit of peace and love. It’s funny how since the very first day when I walked into that chapel and felt an evil presence, but then took authority and cast it out in JESUS name, I haven’t felt it back since and it is peaceful in there. So since I was already there, I also put Truth Church cards in the book of Mormon, the Catholic Bible, and in the King James, which, I put it in Acts 2:38 to be precise.
Anyway, I was going to walk the normal ward, but I really felt compelled to go into the intensive care ward, It is restricted access but I obeyed and walked methodically, as I have been accustomed to doing, listening for the Holy Spirit to tell me who to talk to. I walked all the way down the hallway, but there was still no prompt from the Holy Spirit, so I walked all the way to the end, to the very last door, it was closed halfway, and so I couldn’t see who was inside. Because I couldn’t see what the person looked like, it really made me nervous, what would they say? Would they hit me, or scream for the nurses, and then I would be barred and never return? All these thoughts are running through my mind but it didn’t matter because God knew who it was; all I had to do was obey what He was willingly me to do. PROVERBS 3:5-6, TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE SHALL DIRECT YOUR PATHS.
I just knew to go inside but again because I couldn’t see who it was; I was nervous, such a chicken, I charged myself; how is God ever going to use you? So I sat out in the hallway, and waited, hummed and hawed and then turned around and tried to peak in, I just had to get a look before I went in. I saw bone thin, frail hands holding a large book. Again, I thought what if they tell me to get out and I’m not allowed in here again, or swear at me, or are just so rude and ignorant to me. I turned back around and stood there and waited, yet again, until I started to read this sign that said “CANCER the last rights” and it listed all the rights of a patient that was perishing from cancer. At that moment, it dawned up me that my personal pride will not dictate leading someone to JESUS. Here I am standing right here and knowing with everything that is within me that I must go in, and I would love to say, that at that precise moment I turned around and courageously walked into the room, but I sheepishly stood in the hallway until the Lord beckoned me a third time. With me the Lord will prompt me to do something three times, and if I don’t CHOOSE to obey; the opportunity and experience is lost, BUT He is so good and will bring the opportunity back to me again when I’m ready. PROVERBS 24:16, FOR A RIGHTEOUS MAN MAY FALL SEVEN TIMES AND RISE AGAIN, BUT THE WICKED SHALL FALL BY CALAMITY.
It still took me a minute but I turned around and slowly peaked my head inside, I seen a frail, withered woman, obviously terminally ill with a bald head reading a book. I took a breath and I said “excuse me”, she turned and I asked if I may come in, she had a bewildered look upon her face, but said “yes.” She was a very pretty, Spanish lady in her late thirties, and she had such a soft glow about her, her eyes were full of peace and she was very kind, and had a beautiful smile. I walked up to her bed and didn’t know what I was going to say and I was really nervous at first because I felt what the Lord wanted me to do, with all content of the scriptures I have been reading, THAT THESE SIGNS WILL FOLLOW THEM THAT BELIEVE or BE REMOVED AND CAST INTO THE SEA or GREATER WORKS THAN THESE THEY WILL DO. I really felt the Lord was urging me to take a step in faith, well more of a giant leap. But Bro. Merritt said that, if we believe the Lord will go before us!! So,I asked what she was reading, she said “I’m reading about JESUS” in a very beautiful but thick Spanish accent. I said bluntly “well, I was standing outside your door and the Lord told me to come in here and speak with you”. She said that I don’t think it was coincidence!” and I agreed with her. (She had actually prayed only minutes before I obeyed and walked through the door, if God would give her the strength to pick up that book. I didn’t know where to begin, and truthfully I was pretty intimidated, but I BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF GOD, and that HE IS A GOD OF PROMISE!! I started to talk to her about, MARK 16:15-18, JOHN 14:12-14, and MARK 11:23-24. I asked if she believed that the Lord could heal her, and she said “YES” I then started to talk about some other things, almost putting it off, but I was really working up my faith, I knew why God had sent me here and I wasn’t about to let doubt or pride get in my way. I would rather look like a fool for JESUS and have someone reject me, than to do nothing and let someone’s soul perish for eternity because of my pride. I spoke of “tongues” and about the power and the infilling of the Holy Ghost, I touched base on ACTS 2:38, I asked if she repented and she couldn’t really understand and I was lacking the confidence and experience to pray someone through to repentance.
I left it alone after having difficulty trying to explain it, and besides she is going to have time for that later. I asked her if I could pray with her, she said “yes” and she could see that I was a little nervous about what was about to happen, she was very encouraging and warm, and I just felt relaxed as she assured me it was okay, and beckoned for me to come to her. So I walked around her bed and laid my hand upon her head. (I felt to lay both hands but I put only one on) I didn’t know how exactly to pray, or for how long, but I just went with the Holy Ghost and I felt the power flowing through me, as I prayed I first worshipped God, and gave Him praise and then quoted the scriptures that gave the promises, and then, I cast out and bound the spirit of cancer, and the spirit of infirmity in JESUS NAME, and I loosed a Spirit of life and the gifts of healing. I didn’t know if I should shout out loud or start screaming but I prayed with authority. I prayed on her until I felt the Holy Ghost subside and I ended the prayer in JESUS name. It wasn’t a long prayer but I just followed what the Lord wanted me to do, and it’s not what I have done but the POWER and AUTHORITY of JESUS NAME!!!! I just had to believe, and my job was just to step out in faith and let God do the rest. That was the biggest part to get over but I realized just that, it isn’t me that fails if it didn’t work, for I just obeyed and hung my faith on Gods word and He never goes back on His word!!!
Immediately when I was finished I looked at her face half expecting to see this beautiful fair maiden, her face full with long flowing hair, blown by a gentle breeze and her face incandescent. But no, there was no physical transformation; she looked the same but with perfect peace, and love upon her. As I stood above this woman, I was filled with this adoration there was a special, deep, bond and as we looked at each other with love in our eyes, I felt the perfect love of the Lord, and it was so real and profound, and it makes me feel warm and peaceful even now as I think about her and the experience. It was so real, so pure and Holy, it was the love and compassion that can only come from JESUS, and I feel blessed to experience such unconditional love. 1 JOHN 4:7, BELOVED, LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FOR LOVE IS OF GOD, AND EVERYONE WHO LOVES IS BORN OF GOD AND KNOWS GOD. HE WHO DOES NOT LOVE DOES NOT LOVE GOD, FOR GOD IS LOVE!
The love that was displayed For one another, I couldn’t help but look at her with the utter most compassion from the very depths of my soul, and I know she could see Jesus in me. It was love straight from Him, and it was the most beautiful, surreal feeling of absolute bliss I have ever experienced, as I watched this frail woman a complete stranger only fifteen minutes earlier, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at me, as we stared into each other’s eyes, intently, as if we both had a secret that no one else around us knew, there is something we shared, a knowledge that we both have learned so much from each other. That God has used her to help me more than I could ever help her!! I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to enjoy this moment forever, it was so awesome! She asked if I could wash her hands for her, so I wet a napkin and then she asked if I could close the blinds and I did. We just kept smiling at one another, she told me to watch out for temptation, and that she was so full of peace and joy, that there is a young man that is so full of God and that He [does really] live in me. She gently spoke of her husband, and how he said that he loves God more than her, but she wasn’t jealous she admitted jokingly, and she loves him and her three daughters. She was so full of faith in the Lord, and all she knows was Catholicism, but I could see the peace of the Lord upon her and knew He was with her, I could see the Lord in her and I know she wants to know more and the Lord wants her to understand TRUTH. I couldn’t take my eyes off this lady, and it was so beautiful. Before I left, I bent over and gave her a kiss on the top of her bald head, and smiled a deep smile that came from the depths of my soul, and she returned it. I said I wanted her to sleep now, and as I left I couldn’t break my gaze from hers, and I walked out the door, floated down the hallways and back to my truck, and sat there in awe of what had just transpired. I danced before the Lord in the streets; I just couldn’t contain myself and was overwhelmed with the love of JESUS!!! I prayed and then spoke with my mom who wished me happy birthday, I gave her a report and she marveled at the wonders of God. I let her go as to not be distracted and just worshipped the Lord and gave thanks for healing Cinia and drove back to the rig and gave Him more praise and just spent an hour worshipping him, and thanking Him, and Praising Him!!
1 JOHN 4:12, NO ONE HAS SEEN GOD AT ANY TIME. IF WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER, GOD ABIDES IN US, AND HIS LOVE HAS BEEN PERFECTED IN US.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
AUGUST 27 2008
5PM- While I was driving back home from work, I was feeling very carnal and confused about my struggles. As I drove by a hitchhiker, I felt to stop but proceeded to drive past him. Well, I could only drive 3 KM before I turned around. There is no way that I’m going to allow my attitude get in the way of helping someone or leading them to Jesus, even if I wasn’t prayed up or in the right frame of mind. So I turned around after fighting God (which is customary when I’ve subjected my mind to garbage) and I picked the man up. He was in the late fifties, with a healthy white beard, and his name was IAN. He was from Kindersley, SASKATCHEWAN, and he had been hitchhiking around Calgary for the last two weeks. He was looking for work and finding odd jobs that would pay him enough money to survive. He wanted to go hike down to Claresholm, and look for farm work there. He didn’t want to stay in Calgary because he had just been robbed there a few days ago, and beaten and all his possessions had been stolen. He constantly kept saying he was down on himself, and not feeling good about himself, when he talked he kept talking about giving up, on his job, on his life, and waiting for a room at the DI, which gave me the impression he quits a lot and never has had a steady job; besides the fact he was in his late fifties hitchhiking. He was a laborer and truthfully he seemed a very simple man.
I talked him into staying at the Salvation Army if I could get him a room there, because he had no clothes and less than a dollar in his pocket. He hadn’t slept the night before, nor had he eaten as he was stranded throughout the night, which concerned me because it was a particularly cold week getting down to negative temperatures at night, and all he had was a jean jacket and jeans. When he finally agreed after much convincing, I drove downtown and we went in but there were no rooms available. He seemed dejected and didn’t want to hang around downtown and said he was going to take the train to the outskirts of the city. I offered him to stay at my house for the night and I would drive him back at 6AM so he could get a room but he declined, and I asked three times but each time he refused. I told him I would give him some money and I really felt that he should come to church with me on Sunday. I offered everything I could so he would stay in Calgary; I was so worried that he would freeze to death, because he didn’t seem to have any common sense to him. I even said that his plan didn’t make any sense, but he said to you it won’t! And he was right about that.
So, I offered him a ride to the outskirts of town. To which he accepted, I offered him food numerous times but he kept declining, he said he just wanted to get to where he was going, and didn’t want to waste ½ hour eating because he didn‘t want to get stuck in the dark. I tried to rationalize with him, stating that I would buy him a sub and he could just pack it in his bag, but he wouldn’t listen, and it didn’t make any sense?? Why wouldn’t; a person in need take some food? He didn’t have to eat it then but he could put it away for later, but he kept refusing. I couldn’t comprehend why this hungry man wouldn’t eat, and I was having an awful time trying to deal with it in my flesh. So, then at the very least I wanted to buy him a sweater, because he had no clothes. He wanted absolutely no part of it and was offended that I would offer; it seemed. I kept insisting and he kept refusing, until I had to practically kidnap him and bring him to Wal-Mart, in fact I uttered the threat that I would tie him up, if he didn’t let me buy him a sweater. He finally agreed after he seen I was serious. Inside I told him while I got him a sweater I would give him some money and he could go to MacDonald’s and grab something to eat and we could kill two birds with one stone and he could save time, He refused; I couldn’t comprehend because he said he hadn’t eaten in two days. He picked out a sweater, and I forced him to grab some sweat pants as well, and he conceded after a brief fight. I really couldn’t understand his logic; it just didn’t make sense at all to me? I asked if he needed anything else but he refused, I offered some protein bars he could stash in his bag but again he said no, he just wanted to get on the road, and I was feeling frustrated yet gentle, but still couldn’t understand his personal logic.
We left and I drove him to the outskirts of town, where I decided that I would drive him to HIGH RIVER which is 50KM south of Calgary (in the back of my mind all I wanted to do was feed this man, I just wanted to see him eat) He agreed to that instantly, so away we went and I hardly talked at all during the entire time he was in my truck, I was thinking about other things and all of the petty problems that were distracting me. We arrived and again I offered something to eat, now that he has gotten a ride here and saved himself tonnes of time, surely he could eat now? But NO, yet again he refused and he said he had already been here looking for work, so he didn’t want to waste any time, and he was going to NANTON, and just wanted to get on the road. I said well I can drive you there directly, it was another 35KM, so I carried on, I really just wanted to see him eat. I asked him when was the last time he went to church? He said 6 weeks ago, and he grew up in Sunday school and that he was a total believer in God.
We arrived in NANTON and I asked him if he would eat now but he still wouldn’t. I drove him to the construction site where SCOTTY and I worked, and told him if he gets really stranded that he could sneak in there and get shelter. I didn’t feel like praying nor did I think God would hear my prayers because of the awful condemnation but I couldn’t let him leave without doing so. I was feeling carnal from all the garbage I was looking at on the internet, (MATTHEW 6:22-23) but regardless, I asked him if I could and without hesitation he said “sure.” I prayed the most awful, prayer I have ever said and just laughed pathetically after it was finished. I gave him a TRUTHCHURCH card with my name and number on it and told him to call me, and there was possibly someone who could set him up with a job there. He thanked me and said nobody has ever gone out of their way like that for him. I can’t remember what I said, but it should have been love others as I have loved you, but it was something carnal and from my flesh and I really wished I could have another attempt at that one.
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ENCOUNTER!!
I was so distraught about this and it hurt me so much, that I could go out of my way to help someone so much but all he did was refuse my help. I tried everything I could but there was no helping him, he didn’t want it, he wanted to do it his way and no other. I couldn’t understand how it even made sense to him? Couldn’t he see there was someone trying so hard to help him? Couldn’t he see? Was he so blinded by his own way that he was oblivious to the goodness that was in front of him? It hurt me so much to have this man I didn’t know, just leave, that I couldn’t help him or talk any sense into him, or that he just wouldn’t listen. He just didn’t get it? I still don’t understand? How someone could be so foolish? CAN”T YOU SEE???????? CAN”T YOU SEE?????? I thought.
But he chose to leave, alone out in the world, choosing to walk in the cold and the dark, in uncertainty and the only comfort his own foolishness. He is now in the hands of God, and all I can do is hope there was a seed planted in this man’s heart and he comes to JESUS one day. It hurts so much to think of the lost souls out there. I have been so torn that I couldn’t do more for this man. I didn’t do enough and it hurts that he just wouldn’t listen to me that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him, that he couldn’t see the opportunity that was awaiting him, the offer was there but he just willingly left my vehicle, and I know that as he is stranded, alone in the dark wet night, his foolishness washed away by the freezing rain and stark reality setting in. Leaving him thinking, “if I had only seen what was in front of me, if I had only taken the hand while it offered me food, but here I sit, alone, hungry and darkness surrounds me and I’m lost and don’t know what tomorrow holds? Oh why, oh why, do I choose to walk in my own folly? Oh when will I ever learn? Oh, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN”?????
A couple things the Lord showed me about this encounter…
Ok, so here I am trying to feed food to this man that will perish, yet there is the Word of Jesus Christ, “SOUL FOOD” that will never fade away, that will never perish, that is eternal and life everlasting. The Bible says,
JOHN 6:50-51, This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that one may eat of it and not die. 51) I am the living bread which comes down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of this world.
JOHN 6:53-54, Then JESUS said to them, “most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.
54) Whoever eats My flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.
My soul desired to really do something profound in this man’s life; like, lead him to JESUS, so that he may eat and never die, but live, a true life, but the only problem is because I was subjecting my mind to impure imagery on the internet, I was feebly attempting to win this man in my carnal flesh and it just had no impact on this man’s salvation, because I was only concentrating on temporal matters.
That is why the anointing of the Holy Ghost and walking in The Spirit is of the utmost importance! By putting on the spiritual armor of God (EPHESIANS 6:11-17), reading our Bibles daily and morning pray. Why? So that we are in tune with the Lord at all times for we never know when He will place a lost soul into our life, if we aren’t prayed up and full of the Holy Spirit so that it’s overflowing and full of love and faith, how are we to be good witnesses of Gods’ love, grace and power? How can we be lights unto men? If we ourselves are full of darkness (Matthew 6:22-23, Luke 11:36) whatever our sin, regardless of what it is, it separates us from the true “specific purpose” that God has prepared for us each and every day if we choose to pick up our crosses daily (LUKE 9:23) and follow Him. So that we may walk according to the Spirit and not the flesh, for to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ROMANS 8:5-9.
Another thing the Lord showed me…
I see JESUS reaching out to ALL of His lost sheep, His hand outstretched willing us to come unto Him, yet some of us are lead astray and wander in the darkness of this world deceived by our very own pride, deceived by our own intelligence, by our arrogance, by the lusts of our flesh. Not willing to do the very will of God. I see the Hand of the Lord outstretched, desperately reaching out to some of us, Saying, My child take my hand, Can’t you see I want you to come to Me. My arms are open to you, I’m beckoning but you must choose to come to Me. TRUST IN ME, I will never hurt you, nor will I fail you, I will never forsake you. I love you and want you to come out and worship me, to take a step out in faith and see that I will not falter, for You are my child, for I have called thee, I have called thee by thy name. Thou art mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers they will not overflow thee. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. I am a God of promise, the Lover of your soul, I love you my child, I want you to come to me so that I may hold you close to me and never let go, but you must reach out and take a hold of My hand, you must cry out and I will answer you.
JEREMIAH 29:11-13, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray unto Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek me and find me, WHEN you search with ALL your heart.
PRAISE OUR INCREDIBLE LORD!!!
5PM- While I was driving back home from work, I was feeling very carnal and confused about my struggles. As I drove by a hitchhiker, I felt to stop but proceeded to drive past him. Well, I could only drive 3 KM before I turned around. There is no way that I’m going to allow my attitude get in the way of helping someone or leading them to Jesus, even if I wasn’t prayed up or in the right frame of mind. So I turned around after fighting God (which is customary when I’ve subjected my mind to garbage) and I picked the man up. He was in the late fifties, with a healthy white beard, and his name was IAN. He was from Kindersley, SASKATCHEWAN, and he had been hitchhiking around Calgary for the last two weeks. He was looking for work and finding odd jobs that would pay him enough money to survive. He wanted to go hike down to Claresholm, and look for farm work there. He didn’t want to stay in Calgary because he had just been robbed there a few days ago, and beaten and all his possessions had been stolen. He constantly kept saying he was down on himself, and not feeling good about himself, when he talked he kept talking about giving up, on his job, on his life, and waiting for a room at the DI, which gave me the impression he quits a lot and never has had a steady job; besides the fact he was in his late fifties hitchhiking. He was a laborer and truthfully he seemed a very simple man.
I talked him into staying at the Salvation Army if I could get him a room there, because he had no clothes and less than a dollar in his pocket. He hadn’t slept the night before, nor had he eaten as he was stranded throughout the night, which concerned me because it was a particularly cold week getting down to negative temperatures at night, and all he had was a jean jacket and jeans. When he finally agreed after much convincing, I drove downtown and we went in but there were no rooms available. He seemed dejected and didn’t want to hang around downtown and said he was going to take the train to the outskirts of the city. I offered him to stay at my house for the night and I would drive him back at 6AM so he could get a room but he declined, and I asked three times but each time he refused. I told him I would give him some money and I really felt that he should come to church with me on Sunday. I offered everything I could so he would stay in Calgary; I was so worried that he would freeze to death, because he didn’t seem to have any common sense to him. I even said that his plan didn’t make any sense, but he said to you it won’t! And he was right about that.
So, I offered him a ride to the outskirts of town. To which he accepted, I offered him food numerous times but he kept declining, he said he just wanted to get to where he was going, and didn’t want to waste ½ hour eating because he didn‘t want to get stuck in the dark. I tried to rationalize with him, stating that I would buy him a sub and he could just pack it in his bag, but he wouldn’t listen, and it didn’t make any sense?? Why wouldn’t; a person in need take some food? He didn’t have to eat it then but he could put it away for later, but he kept refusing. I couldn’t comprehend why this hungry man wouldn’t eat, and I was having an awful time trying to deal with it in my flesh. So, then at the very least I wanted to buy him a sweater, because he had no clothes. He wanted absolutely no part of it and was offended that I would offer; it seemed. I kept insisting and he kept refusing, until I had to practically kidnap him and bring him to Wal-Mart, in fact I uttered the threat that I would tie him up, if he didn’t let me buy him a sweater. He finally agreed after he seen I was serious. Inside I told him while I got him a sweater I would give him some money and he could go to MacDonald’s and grab something to eat and we could kill two birds with one stone and he could save time, He refused; I couldn’t comprehend because he said he hadn’t eaten in two days. He picked out a sweater, and I forced him to grab some sweat pants as well, and he conceded after a brief fight. I really couldn’t understand his logic; it just didn’t make sense at all to me? I asked if he needed anything else but he refused, I offered some protein bars he could stash in his bag but again he said no, he just wanted to get on the road, and I was feeling frustrated yet gentle, but still couldn’t understand his personal logic.
We left and I drove him to the outskirts of town, where I decided that I would drive him to HIGH RIVER which is 50KM south of Calgary (in the back of my mind all I wanted to do was feed this man, I just wanted to see him eat) He agreed to that instantly, so away we went and I hardly talked at all during the entire time he was in my truck, I was thinking about other things and all of the petty problems that were distracting me. We arrived and again I offered something to eat, now that he has gotten a ride here and saved himself tonnes of time, surely he could eat now? But NO, yet again he refused and he said he had already been here looking for work, so he didn’t want to waste any time, and he was going to NANTON, and just wanted to get on the road. I said well I can drive you there directly, it was another 35KM, so I carried on, I really just wanted to see him eat. I asked him when was the last time he went to church? He said 6 weeks ago, and he grew up in Sunday school and that he was a total believer in God.
We arrived in NANTON and I asked him if he would eat now but he still wouldn’t. I drove him to the construction site where SCOTTY and I worked, and told him if he gets really stranded that he could sneak in there and get shelter. I didn’t feel like praying nor did I think God would hear my prayers because of the awful condemnation but I couldn’t let him leave without doing so. I was feeling carnal from all the garbage I was looking at on the internet, (MATTHEW 6:22-23) but regardless, I asked him if I could and without hesitation he said “sure.” I prayed the most awful, prayer I have ever said and just laughed pathetically after it was finished. I gave him a TRUTHCHURCH card with my name and number on it and told him to call me, and there was possibly someone who could set him up with a job there. He thanked me and said nobody has ever gone out of their way like that for him. I can’t remember what I said, but it should have been love others as I have loved you, but it was something carnal and from my flesh and I really wished I could have another attempt at that one.
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ENCOUNTER!!
I was so distraught about this and it hurt me so much, that I could go out of my way to help someone so much but all he did was refuse my help. I tried everything I could but there was no helping him, he didn’t want it, he wanted to do it his way and no other. I couldn’t understand how it even made sense to him? Couldn’t he see there was someone trying so hard to help him? Couldn’t he see? Was he so blinded by his own way that he was oblivious to the goodness that was in front of him? It hurt me so much to have this man I didn’t know, just leave, that I couldn’t help him or talk any sense into him, or that he just wouldn’t listen. He just didn’t get it? I still don’t understand? How someone could be so foolish? CAN”T YOU SEE???????? CAN”T YOU SEE?????? I thought.
But he chose to leave, alone out in the world, choosing to walk in the cold and the dark, in uncertainty and the only comfort his own foolishness. He is now in the hands of God, and all I can do is hope there was a seed planted in this man’s heart and he comes to JESUS one day. It hurts so much to think of the lost souls out there. I have been so torn that I couldn’t do more for this man. I didn’t do enough and it hurts that he just wouldn’t listen to me that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him, that he couldn’t see the opportunity that was awaiting him, the offer was there but he just willingly left my vehicle, and I know that as he is stranded, alone in the dark wet night, his foolishness washed away by the freezing rain and stark reality setting in. Leaving him thinking, “if I had only seen what was in front of me, if I had only taken the hand while it offered me food, but here I sit, alone, hungry and darkness surrounds me and I’m lost and don’t know what tomorrow holds? Oh why, oh why, do I choose to walk in my own folly? Oh when will I ever learn? Oh, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN”?????
A couple things the Lord showed me about this encounter…
Ok, so here I am trying to feed food to this man that will perish, yet there is the Word of Jesus Christ, “SOUL FOOD” that will never fade away, that will never perish, that is eternal and life everlasting. The Bible says,
JOHN 6:50-51, This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that one may eat of it and not die. 51) I am the living bread which comes down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of this world.
JOHN 6:53-54, Then JESUS said to them, “most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.
54) Whoever eats My flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.
My soul desired to really do something profound in this man’s life; like, lead him to JESUS, so that he may eat and never die, but live, a true life, but the only problem is because I was subjecting my mind to impure imagery on the internet, I was feebly attempting to win this man in my carnal flesh and it just had no impact on this man’s salvation, because I was only concentrating on temporal matters.
That is why the anointing of the Holy Ghost and walking in The Spirit is of the utmost importance! By putting on the spiritual armor of God (EPHESIANS 6:11-17), reading our Bibles daily and morning pray. Why? So that we are in tune with the Lord at all times for we never know when He will place a lost soul into our life, if we aren’t prayed up and full of the Holy Spirit so that it’s overflowing and full of love and faith, how are we to be good witnesses of Gods’ love, grace and power? How can we be lights unto men? If we ourselves are full of darkness (Matthew 6:22-23, Luke 11:36) whatever our sin, regardless of what it is, it separates us from the true “specific purpose” that God has prepared for us each and every day if we choose to pick up our crosses daily (LUKE 9:23) and follow Him. So that we may walk according to the Spirit and not the flesh, for to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ROMANS 8:5-9.
Another thing the Lord showed me…
I see JESUS reaching out to ALL of His lost sheep, His hand outstretched willing us to come unto Him, yet some of us are lead astray and wander in the darkness of this world deceived by our very own pride, deceived by our own intelligence, by our arrogance, by the lusts of our flesh. Not willing to do the very will of God. I see the Hand of the Lord outstretched, desperately reaching out to some of us, Saying, My child take my hand, Can’t you see I want you to come to Me. My arms are open to you, I’m beckoning but you must choose to come to Me. TRUST IN ME, I will never hurt you, nor will I fail you, I will never forsake you. I love you and want you to come out and worship me, to take a step out in faith and see that I will not falter, for You are my child, for I have called thee, I have called thee by thy name. Thou art mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers they will not overflow thee. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. I am a God of promise, the Lover of your soul, I love you my child, I want you to come to me so that I may hold you close to me and never let go, but you must reach out and take a hold of My hand, you must cry out and I will answer you.
JEREMIAH 29:11-13, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray unto Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek me and find me, WHEN you search with ALL your heart.
PRAISE OUR INCREDIBLE LORD!!!
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